Catchy title right? I figured I mine as well just get right to the point. Today we recieved word that we have been officially approved by the state of Georgia. We had no doubt we would be it was just a matter of waiting for the ‘official’ sign off.
This is a BIG deal and in normal Ryann fashion I cried driving home after getting this text. I mean this is one step closer to finding our child! For anyone who has read our blog or perhaps is reading for this first time this basically means we are now able to begin seriously, seriously looking at child(ren). I keeping adding the ‘ren’ because we still don’t know if we are looking at 1 or 1+ children. I wish we could narrow it down but we are still so unsure of what we want, can handle and where God is leading us. We have begun attending adoption parties which is basically an event for the children where they get to get out of the house and go to a fun event (events vary). At this event some children are present but mostly adoption caseworkers and some potential adoptive parents. I know it sounds weird and awkward and it is a little but its a vital part of the process for a few reasons. 1). get to meet caseworkers and give them your family flyer and talk with them briefly. In doing so they get to learn about you, answer any questions you may have and if you are attending for a particular child this may be your first encounter with them. 2). If you are attending to a meet a child you have already requested some information about it give you an opportunity to meet the child on a surface level with light conversation in a fun setting. 3). The child gets to meet you and that may serve as a point of reference when the caseworkers mentions you to a child after an event. The children absolutely get a say so in the adoption process and as such its important that they get a voice in the process, and meeting a potential parent in a fun atmosphere takes the stress away and gives the control to the child who may decide to not pursue you as an adoptive match, i.e. they may just not like you, or want a parent that looks like them, or just not want to be adopted in some cases. It is every bit as weird as you’re imagining for the parents, but the main focus for us has been just to make the best days for any and all kids we interact with. At events we plan to more focus on meeting caseworkers so that we then become a person, a family and a potential match instead of just a file. This process is long and winding and if you have any questions please free to ask and I will do my best. So now we wait to be matched on all ends to find our child(ren). I think we are both more leaning towards siblings but we are open to whatever God brings our way.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about fate and intentions. I don’t believe at all that we were supposed to be this child(s) mother and father. Let me explain. I firmly believe that God chose these children’s parents already, the ones who created/birthed them. I am excited to get the great honor and privilege to guide, teach, love and grow with this child(ren) I know it wasn’t the first plan. However as a Christian I acknowledge that we live in a broken world and as such brokenness is all around us, poverty, drug addiction, inability to parent safely, broken families, single parents (not knocking it, just acknowledging the struggle), mental illness, homelessness, domestic violence and so much more and as such there are children that fall in the gaps of this brokenness. It’s not fair to the child, its not okay but here it is regardless and here we are standing in the gap wanting to love, guide, teach and accept a child who we didn’t birth, but a child I feel honored to be able to parent and earn my title of Mom with time and trust. This brings me to another point we will not expect our child to call us mom and dad unless they chose to do so, we don’t want to fill a void they may not be ready to fill and we are okay with that. As we begin this process we won’t be sharing extensively about the children we are looking at because it’s their story and their life. Of course we will keep family up to date as much as possible but we want to respect the circumstances that led this child into care and respect their privacy until they are ready to share. I hope this makes sense. I am at a loss of what else to update on. But tonight as I go to sleep my prayers will continue to cover this child(ren). I pray for their safety, for their thanksgiving to be joyful and to be surrounded by love regardless of their circumstances. I pray over their schooling and any sadness they may be feeling. In the meantime we are praying and continuing to work to equip ourselves to be the best parents we can be to whomever we are blessed enough to parent.
Hope to have more updates soon but for now we continue to search, pray, and prepare.